Transcendence captivates: a life without legacy ceases the moment one draws his or her last breath.  Oral tradition transports knowledge throughout generations, but, often, the realm of influence endures to one family or one culture.  Beauty dwells in antiquated items that pass the tumultuous trials of time, demonstrating the unity of mankind to the eyes of individuals zealous to solicit the mysteries of the past.

Writing surpasses the laws of time and space through imbibing the memoir of mankind that spills throughout generations; characters and themes from ancient literature swallow one’s conscious and emit the universality of the human condition.  The concept of writing overwhelms me—the beauty and dignity of literature fascinate me.  Authors like Donte, Milton, Shakespeare, Austen, Steinbeck, and Poe communicate incommunicable expressions through their writing and leave generations drowning in awe over their masterpieces.

I write because I desire future generations to understand what it was like to live in the beginning of the twenty-first century and to realize that, though times and places drastically alter, God’s unity graces all people; mankind’s ability to relate to passages of literature written thousands of years ago proves that, despite circumstantial differences, man remains unaltered.  In 2017, at the age of 95, my great-grandmother passed away and left her Bible and her travel journal to my family.  While her lifetime dramatically differs from my own, I recognized so much of today’s ideas within her writings from the 1940s.  Though I knew her little in her life, I learned much from her death.  Her notes act as interlocutors between the past and the present; through her words, I examine the ripple of changes within three generations.

When I perish, I hope people to learn things I would never speak.  When people delve into my personal notes, I want them to understand how I had questions as they do and to realize I felt as they felt, and, most importantly, I want people to examine the details of how Christ restored in my life.

I scarcely remember the woman I was at the beginning of the previous year.  Physically, not much has changed, yet a different reflection emerges from the mirror.

Days approaching the new year pleads for a sort of self-examination.  There is something enthralling about conclusions that render the mind searching for answers to questions I didn’t realize I had.  For example, what has changed?  What was I doing last year at this time?  What were the things I dwelled upon?  What did life feel like during preceding times?  Then, almost without noticing, my mind slips back into the present: What do I feel now?  What am I pondering now?  What am I learning?  What have I done more recently?  Who am I today that will ultimately become who I was in a matter of moments?

A puzzling feeling grips my neck and gives me a headache as I try to discern the past so that I may understand the present and brigade toward the new year.  So much unknown abides in 2017.  The past is the known and experienced, but 2017 brings escapades I cannot begin to have a knowledge or understanding of.  My headache subsides as I recall Proverb 20:24; “A man’s steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way?”  There is a gentle and overcoming reassurance in knowing that in the unknown, we have a known God.

Being able to recall memories from the past year is a precious thing; how glorious is it to be able to reflect upon what God has shown us throughout our lives.  Last December I began studying Isaiah, and, thankfully, the Lord included a tidbit here about reminiscing on the past.

“Do not call to mind the former things,

Or ponder things of the past.

Behold, I will do something new,

Now it will spring forth;

Will you not be aware of it?

I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,

Rivers in the desert.”

Isaiah 43:18-19

I love verb tense of verse 19.  The author does not state, “are you not aware of it,” but uses the future tense, “Will.”  This encompasses a promise that requires faith. He tells us, then promises we will be made aware.  Our job is to trust and put our hope in Him, our Deliverer, as He makes away through wilderness and the desert.  Revelation 21:5 parallels these verses, reading “And He who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’ Also He said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’”  Living in the realization that God is faithful and true forces us to understand that the only option is to trust God with our futures.

The past is straightforwardly that—past.  The woman I was last year did not struggle with what I do today, nor do I currently struggle with what I did back then.  Circumstances have changed, thoughts, feelings, and actions have all changed since a mere year ago, and the same will be said by the end of 2017.

I am not the same woman from years prior, but am being made new through sanctification in Christ.  The woman I was 365 days ago had a relative idea of what 2016 would be like, but would not begin to comprehend the depth of the year.  Today I sit, in blissful ignorance, of the future that looms in 2017, confident in the God who will carry me through the year.

For Further Reading:

Proverbs 3

Psalm 140:12

Psalm 34:4

Matthew 6

Lamentations 3

Deuteronomy 32:4

II Timothy 2:13

Life and death are enthralling.  With monumental events, may they be tragic or filled with joy, often assign our minds into boundless, ever-enthralling thought.

For me, these thoughts were prompted by brimming anticipation for my niece, Klaire, to arrive in world.  Engrossed in my own mind during the past few weeks, I spent many restless nights reflecting on subjects, in prayer for this sweet, new life, and contemplating the future.  My old youth pastor in Arkansas told me I was a “dweller,” or someone who is constantly thinking.  He was doubtlessly correct about that!  Klaire was born Sunday night and our friends and family celebrated and rejoiced over her precious first breaths, and excitement lingers in all of our hearts.  I was overjoyed, yet my consuming thoughts persevered.

These prevailing thoughts have made me curious about what the Lord is trying to teach me.  Wednesday, my Community Group Leader, Kate, shared something her mom told her: “God speaks in whispers to show that He is near.”  It can be difficult to discover insight when diverse topics circumnavigate your mind, and trying to discern can become daunting.  It was not worry that apprehended my conscious, simply menial thoughts.

“Splendor and majesty are before Him;

strength and beauty are in His sanctuary.”

Psalm 96:6

As I read Psalm 96, thoughts that permeated my concentration began to vanish from my mind.  I had forgotten the glory of my God.  I was pondering the life that He gives, yet I forgot the splendor of who He is and what He gives.  “Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar, and all that fills it,” Psalm 96:11.

I too often forget to rejoice.  Joy and happiness are hard ones for me.  I love studying to a fault; I’ll study God’s word and my textbooks all day long, and, though I find much enjoyment in doing so, I regularly forget to simply be happy.

Happiness comes as a second nature to me, not that I’m overflowing with sorrow, I will just become so concentrated on what I learn that I forget to gleam enjoyment from it.  It’s a subtle happiness that I forget to express.   When I left for college, my family gave me a sign that reads “Today I choose happiness.”  I hadn’t ultimately comprehended this characteristic about myself; I have divorced my knowledge from emotion.

I concluded my study for the day through reading Proverb 9, and reread two verses I know well, “Leave your simple ways, and live, and walk in insight…The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (Proverb 9:6,10).”

I realized an area where I was being unfaithful to the Lord that night.  By compartmentalizing what I learn and how I feel, I was depriving myself from gaining insight.  I could not unearth any insight from my thoughts because I was going about it the wrong way.  I disconnected the emotional part of myself because I wanted to learn so much—I forgot the importance of why we learn.  We learn to change ourselves, to reshape our minds, to modify the ways we think and feel about particular subjects.  I wanted to be numb in my quest for knowledge and understanding, but without emotion little understanding can be obtained.

For Further Reading:

Ecclesiastes 3

Psalm 96, Proverb 9.

Romans 12:9

Colossians 2:8, Hebrews 10:23

Isaiah 30:15-18

Psalm 139:23

She held a baby the law forbade her to keep.  During his first three months of life, she loved him in secret.  Her beautiful baby boy, a child she could never show another.  His every noise–every cry, every yawn, every coo–she had to harbor.

The amount of faith and courage she had was surreal.  For twelve weeks–weeks when a baby learns to smile, laugh, babble–God allowed her to softly, quietly, delicately raise her sweet son.

But after those weeks, she could no longer conceal him.  Thus she began making a papyrus basket; she would not give up.  Moses’ mother knew she could be punished at any moment or that an Egyptian could discover her son and kill him, but she refused to stop.  With the basket completed, she navigated to the Nile to say goodbye to her beloved son.  She placed him in the river, relinquishing her child’s life to the Lord.  She didn’t look back–she couldn’t–but Mariam, her daughter, remained vigilant over that basket.

Mariam witnessed a miracle that day, one that began there and spanned decades after those moments.  Moses’ carefully crafted cradle sailed into Pharaoh’s domain, and Pharaoh’s daughter happened to see it in the distance.  When the content of the basket was revealed–a beautiful baby boy–Pharaoh’s daughter was filled with compassion.  She knew this was a Hebrew infant; a child of a race whose sons’ lives were being executed by her father’s decree.  But this Egyptian woman would not allow this baby to die.  Instead, she named him after the way she found him, Moses, meaning “drawn out.”

At the appropriate time, Mariam used her voice to inquire whether she should find someone to nurse Moses, and Pharaoh’s daughter delegated her to do so.   Filled with joy, I’m sure Mariam ran to find her mother.  Because of her mother’s faithful surrender, the Lord blessed her.  She chose not to kill her son as the law said, but protected him until she was desperate.  Not only was she reunited with her son, but she got paid by the kingdom to take care of the child she earnestly hid from them!

She got to see him through childhood, to watch him grow up.  All of that because she had the faith to place him in the river.

Jochebed, Moses’ mother, remains nameless until a genealogy is given in Exodus 6.  In Hebrews 11:23, the author defines Jochebed’s actions disclosing, “By faith, Moses, when born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because…they were not afraid of the king’s edict.”  After protecting him as long as they could, Jochebed and her husband Amram faithfully placed Moses into one of the world’s most dangerous rivers.  The amount of faith they had perplexes me!  They did not know the outcomes of Moses’ fate, but they trusted in the Lord and He delivered them out of their affliction!

I cannot comprehend the situation, but I can understand this: our God is miraculous.

“And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.  God saw the people of Israel–and God knew.” Exodus 2:24-25.

 Not only did God deliver Moses, but He used Moses as a forerunner to deliver His people!  He used Moses’ messy and broken life to bring His people out of a sea of suffering.

All this because his mother had the strength to place him in the river.

For Further Reading:

Exodus 2

Psalm 34:19

Hebrews 11

Acts 7

Jeremiah 32:27

Psalm 77:14

Life is filled with different stages or seasons.  For me, this one is called cleaning.  From moving out of the dorm—shout out to the many schools I didn’t choose that don’t have a “white glove” check—back into out house, then to another room of the house, I’ve done quite a bit of cleaning, and I love it.  Cleaning reveals a lot of who one is, or, more accurately, who one once was.  When one cleans, he find things: the messes of his past.

You find things that were important to you, yet you allowed them to go unsought of for weeks or months or years.

Last week I found two distinct items, my first prayer journal, and my letter box.

Oh my word.  Praise the Lord for the work He has done in my life!!  Reading through that journal was hilariously painful.  To reread what I thought was important so many years ago or the things I struggled with was so interesting.  It felt like I was reading someone else’s life.  There were difficulties completely forgot about, some things I was happy to have forgotten.  All in all, it made me so thankful for God’s work in my life haha.  It was a good reminder to do as Paul wrote, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect,” Romans 12:2.  The Lord is phenomenally faithful!  He has done so many astounding things in my life that I forgot what our relationship was like in the beginning.  Reading that journal made me realize that he has brought so much restoration and healing to this broken, wretched soul.  Not by anything that I did, but because of His sweet grace (see Ephesians 2).  When I started that book in 8^th grade, I never would have imagined all that God would do and is continuing to do in my life.

And then I found my letter box!  I love reading and writing, and I have kept every note/card/letter that anyone has written me.  I love them!  My letter box is 1-foot-tall, about 2-feet-long, and what I didn’t remember is the fact that the box is completely filled with letters!  When I moved for college I started a new box and didn’t open this old one for a couple years.  I expected the box to be halfway filled, but to my surprise it was entirely full.

God graciously places people in our lives to encourage and teach us numerous things.  Psalm 31:7 says “I will rejoice and be glad in Your steadfast love, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the distress of my soul.”  By his love and “His divine power [He] has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness,” I Peter 1:3a, and that includes the people He has placed in our lives.  Each relationship we encounter is an opportunity to bring God glory!  These notes and letters were given from some friends that were only in my life for a season and other friends who continue to keep in touch.  I am so grateful for the people He has allowed to enter my life; their impact on me can stretch farther than I even realize.

The second part of I Peter 1:3 asserts that we discern life and godliness “through the knowledge of Him who called us to His glory and excellence,” how extraordinary is our God not only to give us these small reminders and revelations, but 66 books to reveal His glory!  Shane and Shane wrote a song about Psalm 98 and one lyric reads “What they know by faith, we know by name; Jesus is King.”  We get to study the entire Bible!  It is far better and its value is vast beyond my boxes of letters.  God gave us a collection of thousands of pages of letters!

Seek out what the Lord is doing in your life and look for ways He uses others to impact you!  Cherish those around you.  They’ll know us by their love (John 13:36).  We have opportunity to share who He is each day!  His love never ends and His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).  How wonderful and freeing that is to hear!

Before I headed back to school last August, I wrote myself a note on my dry-erase calendar reading “enjoy the time you get, because time is running out.”  Now, that note reminds me that we do not know how long people will be in our lives, and we cannot imagine what God will do though these sweet relationships.

These little reminders proved to be timed splendidly when our college pastor, Tim, and his wife Meghan announced that they will be moving soon.  Saying goodbye is hard; my mom says that we aren’t meant to do it, for we are eternal beings.  But the most beautiful part about this goodbye is knowing that the Lord will be glorified through Tim and Meghan wherever they go.  And He has called them to go spread His glory!  What a glorious goodbye.

Be open to how the Lord is using others to change you, and give love as Christ has.  Our Heavenly Father desires greatness—sanctification—in our lives, and He uses people in our lives to bring it about.  Some to encourage us and to be the church, striving towards Christ with us, and some to teach us to rely on Him.

For Further Reading:

Titus 3:4-7

Psalm 31

John 15:12-15

II Corinthians 13:11

Psalm 143:5-6

Proverb 27:17

Psalm 90:12

Studying the book of Numbers has taught more about God’s grace and power than I had expected.  I love the Old Testament because there is so much history, and reading these texts help one better understand both the context and various meanings found in the New Testament.   One of the things that the young adults’ pastor at my church often reminds us of is the fact that those of the New Testament were living in the Old Testament times and customs.

The story of Caleb, Joshua, and ten other spies of Israel is one I have come to know well.  It tells of days where the Israelites escaped Egypt and were waiting to enter the promise land: Canaan.  God allowed the Israelites to spy out the land, and the Israelites chose one man from each of the the twelve tribes.  In Numbers 13:2 the Lord tells Moses, “Send men to spy out the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the people of Israel.”

The Lord was testing them.  He stated that He would give them the land, and He allowed them to examine it beforehand.  Could the Lord have been anymore clear with His words?  He gave them the opportunity to see and to trust Him more, but they failed to do so.  Ten of the spies returned and gave a “bad report” (Numbers 13:32), telling the Israelites that the people of Canaan are “strong, and the cities are fortified” (Numbers 13:28).  The ten spies claimed that Israel could not overtake the city, and, to be fair, they were quite right.  God told them that He would give it to them, not that they could take the land without Him.  “But Caleb quieted the people…and said ‘Let us go up at once and occupy it [Canaan], for we are able to overcome it,’” Numbers 13:30.  Caleb understood what God had promised, and He was ready to take captive God’s plan, but Israel lacked faith.

Once they saw the land He promised, they grew afraid of man.  They displaced their holy fear of God and gave it to their enemies.  They lost sight of their Deliverer and became consumed by their terror.  A Psalmist wrote “The LORD is on my side; I will not fear.  What can man do to me?” Psalm 118:6.  Because of their unbelief, God would not allow any from that generation to enter into the promised land, and they had to wander in the desert for forty years.  How heartbreaking.

His words are pure (Psalm 12:6).  God’s words are free from contamination of any kind; unmodified by any mixture.  He has no ulterior motive or deceit against His people.  Why must we fear what He has promised to give us?  Jesus once spoke to his disciples saying “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 8:26).  Jesus calmed the storm that influenced them to fear, and all that the disciples could do was “marvel” at Him (Matthew 8:27).  In Him there is truth and promises beyond what we deserve; we must not fear the people or circumstances that surround us.

For Further Reading:

Psalm 18:30

Isaiah 41:10

II Samuel 22:31

Philippians 4:6-7

Proverb 30:5

Oh it was so beautiful!  My friends Hannah, Matt, Nathan, Tyler, and I went camping in the mountains.  There’s something noteworthy about being submerged in God’s creation far from the typical use of technology.  Creation’s beauty reveals the beauty of our Savior and King.  The waterfalls flow with grace and yet they rush streams of power and splendor.  The mountains reach the heavens and, though they can become strenuous, the view of below is worth each drop of sweat to the top.

The Lord is so gracious to allow us to see this beauty, to reveal to us His created order.  Yet these glimpses of beauty are partially hidden.  In order to see some of the most awe-striking sites, we must search for them.  We must take advantage of what He has given us and explore the area to find it’s great treasures.

I woke up early and was able to sit by the river and study His word.  The passage for today was Psalm 8, the first verse proclaiming “O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!  You have set Your glory above the heavens.”  It goes on to say, “When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that You are mindful of him; and the son of man that You care of him?” in verses 2 and 3.  Verse 9 concludes the chapter as it began “O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!”  I was humbled.   Surrounded in the work of His hands, all I could do was marvel.  With all that He created, He labels us as the “apple of His eye,” Zechariah 2:8.

We are so undeserving of this title and the honor of bearing His image, but He made us worthy.  He sent Christ in order that our relationship with Him can be restored.  Even after all of our ugly mistakes and sins against God, He makes “everything beautiful in its time.  Also, He has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

And there I sat in the woods, with dear friends back where we had set up camp, waiting to indulge in and explore God’s glory together.  Everyday we are given this opportunity, but we must simply look.

For Further Reading:

Galatians 3:26-27

Jeremiah 32:17

Romans 11:36

Psalm 121:1-2

Ephesians 2:10

Amos 9:6

We spent hours getting ready.  Everyone looked wonderful, but there was one that shined brighter than the rest: sweet Heather.  Today, she would be dressed in dazzled layers of white lace, for today was the day she would be married.

She and Ryan met nearly two years earlier at a wedding where they were both in the bridal party.   Heather got away with the best man!  Their story is as extraordinary as Heather and Ryan themselves.  It was crazy—Ryan moved to Virginia for Heather only a little while after they started dating.  I swear, one could make quite a grand movie after their love story.  God was in the midst of their relationship from the beginning, and that was prevalent at the wedding.

Once we finished getting ready, we bridesmaids gathered around Heather and were able to pray for Heather and Ryan’s marriage.  It was such a sweet, intimate moment with the woman who asked us to take part of her special day.  Then it was time for the ceremony to begin.  Ryan and the groomsmen were ready and looking snazzy as we walked before Heather.  She looked exquisite when she came down the isle, absolutely breathtaking.   The pastor shared an excellent message from Colossians 3 with the couple and guests, and then Heather and Ryan partook in communion for the first time as a couple.  After that, the parents of the bride and groom along with the bridal party were invited to join Heather and Ryan on the stage.  Six of us had the honor of praying over the couple together.

The wedding was sweet, intimate, and fun.  The entire day filled with joy, laughing, the happiest of tears, and covered in prayer.  The reception continued the celebration with breakfast—part of their first date—dancing, and an aurora of excitement.

Being a part of that sweet, glorious day was inspirational.  Heather and Ryan were an incredible, living example of what love and marriage was designed to be.  A man and woman joined together in the presence of God—bringing complete glory to Him throughout their entire relationship, apart and together.  Their commitment to Christ prevailed throughout the ceremony as they entered into a holy union.  The friendships of family and loved ones showed the community of believers joining together to share the joy of an honorable covenant.  It was a sincere picture of the church, overflowing with love and unity.

He kissed the soft cheek of his baby girl goodnight.  He had a long day; things were tough for Dad at work and coming home to an energetic four-year-old is exhausting.  But he loved it–his family was his world.

He had a caring wife and daughter he adored.  Even though his work day was burdensome, he could come home and almost forget the chaos when his lovely wife and precious daughter jumped into his arms.

The little girl loved her daddy.  He was kind and smart and brave and loved Mommy more than anything in the world.  She loved being in the embrace of her father, sitting in his lap, being tossed in the air knowing that he would catch her.  She was safe and secure with her arms wrapped around Daddy’s neck.

That’s why on that particular night she called out to him when she was afraid.

“Daddy!” she cried, “Daddy, the dark—it scares me.”  But he didn’t fear the dark or become angry with his daughter.  Instead, he comforted her and stayed with her until she felt safe.  He might not have feared the darkness, but he empathized with her, even though it was silly to fear a dark room.  After all, his and Mommy’s bedroom was right next door.  He was right there.

There are parts of our adult life that are dark, that scare us.  “What am I supposed to do when I graduate?” “Will my kids turn out okay?” “Will I be able to find a job?” “What happens when _____,” and the list goes on.  Each question accompanied by fear and distress.  We fear the dark parts of our life: the unknown, the uncertain, the ambivalent.  We fear the things we cannot know—that which we think we must know.

But darkness in our lives is a form of protection, an opportunity to grow and let go of our own agenda.  The psalmist wrote “even darkness is not dark to You; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You” Psalm 139:12.  The next time you’re in bed, pondering the shadows of the days to come, remember that your future is not dark to God.  He keeps you safe, and this darkness does not exist to Him.  When we can’t see anything, He sees.  He sees your dreams and your dreads.  It is not hidden from Him.

Trust in Him. “A man’s steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way?” Proverb 20:24. That’s the beauty; we don’t have to comprehend His thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).

There will be times when we are without understanding—embrace the lack of knowledge and grow in the One who will carry you through it all.

For Further Reading:

I Peter 5:7

II Timothy 1:7

Deuteronomy 31:6

Proverbs 3:5-6

Psalm 55:22